Alcoholism, quit drinking, recovery music, alcoholics, drinking problem, recovery

The CDs of Michael Purington
& The Messengers:
"I Think I'll Quit Drinkin' Today"
"People With No Last Names"
"Promises"

 

 

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CDs of recovery music dealing with alcoholism, drinking problems, alcoholic recovery stories, and the personal recovery from alcoholism.

The Journey
Michael's Fourth CD
"The Journey"

Song Lyrics for "The Journey"

Born Again Again

I really mean it this time, honey, last night was my last drunk
I'm tired o' wastin' time and money on cocaine, gin and junk
I'm stayin' sober, baby, or may the good lord strike me dead
I need you in bed and your roof over my head

(chorus:)
Off the sauce, on the wagon, cleanin' up my act
Off the sauce, on the wagon, gettin' my life on track
Suddenly I am miraculously free from sin
Mercy me, praise be, I'm born again again

I got heartaches by the number, darlin', troubles by the score
I've shut 'em off with alcohol since I was three or four
I'm a victim of circumstance, a loser by accident
Trust me, girl, I'll rock your world and catch up on the rent

(chorus) (3rd line: Holy water is my drink, and Jesus is my friend)

I realize my life with you is hangin' by a string
I'll detox and go to treatment and get some counseling
I'll find my inner child and give him a loving hug
Give up the cheating and the gambling, the liquor and the drugs

(chorus) (3rd line: (The grace of God has drained me dry, forever and amen)

The Shrink & The Drunk

I went to see a counselor to cure my depression
He looked me over and asked a few questions
and said, "The reason you find yourself in a funk
"ain't because you're depressed, it's because you're a drunk!"
150 dollars an hour

I couldn't understand what he was talkin' about
I said, "I can't be that easy to figure out
"What about my childhood trauma and the Oedipus complex
that get me fired and make me write bad checks?"
I got issues!

The shrink looked at me, and I looked at the shrink
He said, "OK, tell me how much you drink"
I got kinda' nervous and thought it over
and tried to recall the last time I was sober
When I was...9?

Then I said, "Well, I have a few after work
"'cause my wife is a nag, and my boss is a jerk
"I drink matinis for lunch, yes, I confess
"but just 3 or 4 to deal with the stress
"I do scotch on the rocks till I pass out at 8
"Couple shots in my coffee to face the day
"To make it through the mornin' I carry a flask
"that I sip on to make the hours pass
"Other than that I don't drink all that much"
The shrink shook his and said, "I've heard enough"

"Son, you're an alcoholic," he said
"and you prob'ly won't quit till you're locked up or dead
" I can't help you with analysis
"till you admit you're powerless over this"
Admit WHAT?

I said, "Doc, you got these degrees on the wall
"but no P.H.D. on alcohol
"Where did you get this extreme point of view?"
and he smiled and said, "I used to be just like you"
"If you're sick and tired of bein' sick and tired
"of bein' a cheat, a thief and a liar
"If you're willing to face it and ready to stop
"we'll leave here right now, and I'll close up the shop
"and hit the meeting down the block"
and I said, "What the heck? I'm with ya', doc!"
Ahh, a moment of clarity

Don't know why I agreed to take that walk
but I went to that meeting and heard 'em all talk
Nowadays I'm workin' on my 8th step list
thanks to that psychiatrist
Haven't had a drink in a long, long time
and ya' know what? That shrink didn't charge me a dime!

The First Drink

(chorus:)

It's the first drink gets ya' drunk, one sip and you're sunk
Keep track, try to stop, but ya' knock 'em back till ya' drop
It's the first drink gets ya' drunk, it ain't bad breaks or hard luck
If your life is on the blink, blame it all on the first drink

Takes 3 or 4 red beers in the mornin' just to prime the pump
Couple cups of coffee laced with brandy just to wake you up Half a dozen to get a buzz on, but...


(chorus)

Takes 8 or 10 to free the mind and loosen up the tongue
12 or 14 make you mighty and wise and forever young
15's just right to start a barfight, but...

(chorus)

At 20 or 30 you're feelin' flirty, ready for a date
Raggedy Ann, double-gin in hand, looks like a soul-mate
So you sack out in a black-out, ohhhh....

(chorus)

This Is The Place

If you're tryin' to find a way up outa' the hole, this is the place
Have a laugh and save your soul, this is the place
Don't hafta' pledge allegiance or stand in line
No ticket to buy, no paper to sign, you found it--this is the place

If you're ready to rise up and get a life, this is the place
If you're tired of rollin' loaded dice, this is the place
It's a highway to heaven with no roadblock
Just don't drink, just walk the walk, if you're ready--this is the place

(chorus:

This is the place where I wear no mask,
I am who I am, not part of the past
Get a little taste of saving grace
Hook up to the human race
Come on in, this is the place

If you're lookin' to get a little relief, this is the place
If you're a drunk, a liar, a cheat and a thief, this is the place
If your hope is hidin' where the sun don't shine
Here ya' go, have a little of mine, I got plenty, this is the place

(chorus)

One Day More

I don't have a hangover
like I did for years and years
didn't start my morning
throwin' up last night's beer
I know where my car is
parked right outside my door
and I think I'll try not drinkin'
one day more

(chorus:)

One day more, just 24 hours
the past 24 ain't been that bad
One day more, why not try
stayin' sober for one day more

There's money in my pocket
and my dog ain't afraid of me
I can look in the mirror
without hating what I see
I remember everything
I did the night before
and I think I'll try not drinkin'
one day more

(chorus)

I wasted half a lifetime
goin' outa' my mind
(stumblin') around, fallin' further and further down
deaf, dumb and blind
It's a real good feelin'
like I'm finally bein' born
so I think I'll try not drinkin'
one day more

(chorus)

I Get Gone

Cruising along, doin' all right
A nice guy, a white knight
I'm A-one, tip-top
then outa' the blue the fun stops
Suddenly I see red
and I'm offa my rocker, outa my head

(chorus)

I get gone, I get gone
I go way way wrong
I get gone, I get gone
I'm a screamin' demon all night long
It goes on and on and on when I get gone

I'm easy-goin', calm and cool
Then I turn into a hot-headed fool
Deep down I see myself
become somebody else
like Dr. Jekkyl and Mr. Hyde
a foul flood-gate opens wide

(chorus)

What'd I do? What'd I say?
Why'd my mind go away?
I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm mystified
I sigh and cry and apologize
and immediately slip back in
to the same insanity all over again

(chorus)

Kingdom Come

Once a young man had some daydreams
Thought he'd make some dreams come true
After work he'd sit with his buddies
talk 'em over over a drink or two
He had hundreds of tomorrows
Years of time to become someone
but his reveries turned to memories
on his way to his kingdom come

Somethin' told him he was losin'
sight of somethin' too good to waste
Found the answer to his problems
in a solemn, pretty face
Thought she'd keep him on the right tack
put his troubles on the run
join him on his righteous journey
all the way to his kingdom come

But he drank away his kindness
and he drank up her belief
till his daydreams were his blindness
and his drinkin' was a thief

Now an old fool reels on a barstool
Holds on tight to a bottleneck
Drinks and speaks of glorious daydreams
time can never resurrect
and a young man sets down his bottle
Tells his buddy, "Here, finish that"
Follows daydreams out that bar door
and he's never goin' back

He turns and runs to his kingdom come

Get A Life

God says, "Take what you want, and pay for it
Put your best boots on and walk
Set your old life on fir and burn in it
Sift through the ashes and take stock

(chorus:)
Stop talkin', start walkin' through the toil and strife
Stop talkin', start walkin', yeah, get a life

God says, "Knock on the door, and I will open it"
but you can't even get out of your own room
You been down on the floor with a blindfold on
struggling to seal your own doom

(chorus...3rd line: "get your neck off the knife")

God says, "Put up or shut up, then listen up:
"Your old road is impossible to defend
"I know you think you're sinkin' down too deep
"but what's a little quicksand between friends?"

(chorus...3rd line: "turn on all the lights")

Turn on all the lights (2x), Turn 'em on, turn 'em up (2x)
Turn 'em on, turn 'em up, turn 'em on, turn 'em up (2x)

Right At Home In Your Life

You start to sparkle, and one day you shine
There's a vision for you who once was blind
What a relief, oh, it's such a surprise
You're right at home in your life

You show and grow up, go through the book
Your inside feels like your outside looks
Say, "Hallelujeh!", you see the light
and you're right at home in your life

My baby left me, I had no home
I was down and out but i was never alone
I got through it sober and all that time
the thought of drinkin' never even crossed my mind

My story might be a lesson to you
and I might let your learnin' teach me too
Eyes open wide through the lows and the highs
You're right at home in your life

Already Ready

Back at the beginning when I was first tryin' to quit
I was lookin' for answers, and I wanted 'em all real quick
This old man offered me a couple o' questions instead
He left the answers up to me, and this is what he said:

"Do ya wanna' get down and dirty, put your hand in the flame
where the cops all got your number, and the judges know your name?
"Do ya wanna' get down and dirty, bummin' beer and cigarettes
"where your only dream is a nightmare, and your only friend is death?"

(chorus:)

I said "No, no, no, I'm already ready, I'm already ready
"I''m already ready, I don't need to go down slow no' mo'
"I'm already ready (3x) I'm low as I need to go fo' sho'

They talk about surrender, talk about givin' it up
Ask me if I wanna' move on or if I wanna' stay stuck
They say, "Remember the misery you been through, the trouble you been in
"You can do what we do or do you wanna' go back there again?"

(chorus)

Light In The Dark

There's a light in the dark
that leads me on my way
and it turns my mind around
when my thoughts've gone astray
no time like the present
to free your troubled heart
Open up to the light in the dark

There's a world of wonders
that awaits you every day
Live out every moment and then
give it all away
Given time, you will find...

There's a light in the dark...

For the hungry and the homeless
and the hopeless, rich or poor
For the poisoned and imprisoned
searching for an open door
Up ahead, just around the bend...

There's a light in the dark...

My History Is A Mystery

(chorus:)

My history is a mystery to me
(When I) wasn't in a black-out I was too drunk to see
I got no regrets 'cause I got no memory
My history is a mystery to me

I've been stuck at step four for a year
My inebriated yesterdays have up and disappeared
Due to barrels of whiskey and buckets of beer
I can't recall (my part in) anything at all

(chorus)

The brain is a computer, they say
Well, someone hit delete on me every night and day
I'd like to make amends to those I hurt along the way
but I won't get very far 'cause I don't know who they are

(chorus)

I guess I'll get a spiritual awakening
if I can find a way to remember anything
Wrecked cars and careers, pretty women and wedding rings
Maybe I'm better off not knowing all I lost

My history is a mystery (3x) and that's what tortures me

Sneakin' Suspicion

Ya don't hear me complain', my life has been all right
I work all day, and just stay home at night
But I feel some changes comin', wind fillin' up my sails
Mystery train roarin' down the rails

(chorus:)

Got a sneakin' suspicion somethin ' real good is goin' on
Got a sneakin' suspicion somethin' real real good is goin' on, I feel it

I keep a lid on my expectations, try not to let 'em rise
Then when I get lucky I'm pleasantly surprised
I tell myself I'm gettin' older, a trick ot two past my prime
but a fuse has been lit gonna' blow it all sky-high

(chorus)

I'm gonna' let you in on a little secret: since the day we met
I give up some stuff, but you ain't seen nothin' yet
Rusty wheels so slowly turnin' 'bout to get some grease
Hurricane in my heart 'bout to be unleashed

(chorus)

Head-to-toe, deep down in my soul
like in days of old the rock did roll
Roll away from the heartache, roll away the pain
Rollaway, rollaway, rollaway

Lucky To Be Alive

Me and my gal was walkin' downtown today
We passed by Charlie's Bar along the way
I said I spent about half my life in that dive
Made me feel lucky to be alive

(chorus:)

I'm lucky to be alive
I coulda' kept drinkin' till I died
and I'm lucky, lucky to be alive

I'd start my mornings with a glass o' tangeray
In no time flat I'd trash another day
I can't explain why I survived
I just know I'm lucky to be alive

(chorus)

Wanna' tell everybody how glad I am
Want the whole world to understand
I'm a satisfied and grateful man
holding out a helping hand

Those bad old days are good to look back on
So I know I'm real real glad they're gone
Those bad memories help to keep me dry
and keep me believin' I'm lucky to be alive

(chorus)

A Friend Of Bill's

I got friends I can talk to when I'm feelin' low
When I feel like I'm nowhere I know right where to go
Nobody knows me the way that you do
You're part of me, and I'm part of you

A few 24 hours add up to a life
free from the demons, the loss and the lies
free to become the new man I am
thanks to a doctor and a stock market man

(chorus:)

I am a friend o' Bill's until the day I die
I am a friend o' Bill's, and that's the reason I'm alive
That is why I'm here for you, one day at a time
Every friend o' Bill's is a friend o' mine

When a face looks familiar, someone I seem to know
and I recall 'em from a meeting a month or two ago
They say, "Don't I know you?" kinda' quiet and shy
and those six simple words bring a smile as I reply:

(chorus)

Those two guys in '35 only wanted to be
sober and sane, just like you and me
I give as I've been given, speak from the heart
'cause that's what we do, and that's who we are

We are friends o' Bill's (ad infinitum)

Back To The Basics

It's one o' those days when everything goes wrong
and it feels like all you believe in is all gone
No meetings, please, you're heard too much
Well, when you've finally had enough

(chorus:)

Get back to the basics when you're feelin' down
Get back to the basics till you come around
You need to become a newcomer and then
get back to the basics over and over again

Sometimes it seems like life is a losin' game
and you're lookin' for something or someone to blame
When you run into that big brick wall you've built
Ya' better stop and try just standin' still

(chorus)

The further ya' go, the less you know
The higher ya' fly, the darker the sky
The deeper ya' think is closer to a drink
Best bear in mind: time takes time

(chorus)


Promises: Demons and Redemption in Alcoholism Recovery
Michael's Third CD
"Promises"

Song Lyrics for "Promises"

Ready To Surrender

Callin' 911, yes, this is an emergency
Can someone send a sober alcoholic to me?
There's gotta' be a recovering drunk in this neighborhood
Gotta' get to it while the gettin's good
(chorus:)
I'm ready to surrender, I've had enough, that's it!
Bring along a Big Book and a spiritual tool kit
When I forget I'm an alcoholic you can help me remember
I'm ready, ready, ready to surrender

I was fallin' down and blackin' out and upchucking Thunderbird
Prayin' by the porcelain to hear God's word
They shut off the heat and water, and my rent is overdue
I got no one left to turn to but you
(chorus)

I'm more than willing to go to any length to see the light
You can take me on a 12th step call in the middle of the night
Save me from my exes and the judges and the cops
This time I'll really stay stopped
(chorus)

Outside Issue

Very first time I went to a meetin'
They said anything that ain't about drinkin' is an…
(chorus:)
Outside issue, outside issue
It ain't in the groove
if it ain't conference-approved

Wanna' talk about dope, smoke and blow
They shook their heads no, no no, that's an…
(chorus)

I lost my job, can't make my rent
They said, "Sorry, son, unemployment is an…"
(chorus)

My girl is gone, got a broken heart
This blue mood tearin' me apart is an…
(chorus)

My work, my worries, my wicked wife,
My lover, my lawyer, my whole life is an…
(chorus)

Newcomers In Love

I saw you serving coffee at a meeting one night
You spiritually awakened me, I fell in love at first sight
I promptly admitted I was powerless over you
and to thine own self I promised to be true
(chorus:)
The program and you are a blessing from above
The Big Book and the way you look are all I'm thinking of
Gee, it's great to be a newcomer in love

I turn my will and my life over to you
You're restoring me to sanity just like step two
I intuitively know you belong here by my side
Happy, joyous and free, one day you'll be my recovering bride
(chorus)

Together we could never be boring, dull or glum
We'll be the Bill and Lois of the new millenium
We'll fill our lives with wisdom and serenity
Someday we'll have a houseful of little sponsees
(chorus)

The Yeah-But Habit

My sobriety comes first
except for stuff that I want worse
I'll do whatever it takes
and that's a promise I'll gladly break
A little honesty goes a long way
so I'll use as little as I can today
I'll be as selfless as I can be
as long as I know what's in it for me

I got the yeah-but habit

The steps are simple, or so you said
so I'll just work 'em in my head
The big book is my inspiration
but it's open to interpretation
I'll go to meetings 'round the clock
and cross-talk non-stop
I'll call my sponsor every night
Listen close and do what I like

I got the yeah-but habit

I'll start each day on my knees
and pray to God for more for me
I'll stir up trouble everywhere
Then I'll say the serenity prayer
Ya need service work I'll be there
if I can be the committee chair
I'll be humble and serene
I'm gonna be the recovery king

I got the yeah-but habit

High & Dry

I'm on the marijuana maintenance program
I haven't had to take a drink so far
Every time I'm tempted to go out and get drunk
I smoke a joint and stay home from the bars
(chorus:)
I'm high and dry, what a good boy am I
High and dry, yes I am a sober doper guy
High and dry, my chemicals and me
fill my life with pharmaceutical serenity

The first thing that I did was find a doctor
to prescribe codeine to ease my pain
I told him I'm in recovery and he
gave me some valium to keep me sane
(chorus)

I snort cocaine all day to keep me workin
It's 2 a.m. and I am shakin' still
but I don't hafta' pass out on a halfa' case o' brew
I'll just take a few sleeping pills
(chorus)

DIDJA' MISS ME?

Didja miss me? I been back out
takin' a lethal ride
orderin' up another round
o' slow-motion suicide
Yes, I been out to the backstreet bars
lookin' for some fun
Case o' Bud in the back seat of my car
Pint o' Walker's ridin' shotgun
(chorus:)
It ain't all that good to be back, but
It was all bad bein' gone
I only went out for just one night, but
I been away way too long
Are ya with me? Didja miss me?

Same ol' same ol' only a whole lot worse
like death on overdrive
My cup runneth over with just desserts
and I'm less than half alive
Got messed up, torn up good
in the blink of a devil's eye
Found a place where I prayed if I only could
I'd be lucky just to die
(chorus)

Didja miss me? I guess not
I'm nothin' new to you
I guess I didn't want what you got
so I didn't do what you do
Gonna' sit down in a permanent seat
and nail my feet to the floor
90 days, 90 meetings and
90 in 90 more…(repeat last 2 lines)

Awakening

Off in the distance a fire rages
A life is burning, and hope is gone
Here in this circle of clowns and sages
Hearts are peaceful, and faith is strong
I've seen a beginning like a mountain river
rush through the valleys and wash 'em clean
Bring on the thunder, praise together
the simple wonder of awakening
(chorus:)
Awakening like a child
runnin' free, flyin' wild
Spread your wings like a dove
on the winds of love
Every precious moment brings
more and more awakening

This pain is a prison, these sins are cages
You are the jailer, you hold the key
A higher vision down through the ages
awaits in wisdom to set you free
I've seen the power of a new day dawning
sunlight healing broken dreams
Send out a warning the truth is coming
like the first morning of awakening
(chorus)

Middle Of The Herd

Used to think that I was special, gifted and unique
Now I know I'm just another liar, cheat and thief
I was Mr. Isolation till it dawned on me
to be a part of life instead of on the periphery
(chorus:)
Now I'm happy as a clam and I am
free as a bird
A member in good standing in the
middle of the herd

They made me wash coffee cups and read from the book
When I went to camp-outs they made me help 'em cook
I thought it was beneath me, but I did it anyway
and I became a little less useless every day
(chorus)

Why do I go to so many meetings every week?
It's 'cause closer to the center is further from a drink
When I'm on my own things don't seem to go so good
When I'm in my mind I'm in a scary neighborhood
(chorus)

How To Have A Good Time

I was starin' at the mirror back behind the bar
sayin' to myself, "Self, I don't know who you are"
The bartender he ignored me when I ordered a refill
prob'ly 'cause I ran a tab and never paid the bill
(chorus:)
But I knew how to have a good time
I was on a roll and in my prime
Broke and drunk out of my mind
I knew how to have a good time

At a table in the corner sat a cowgirl barfly
I stumbled to the jukebox, winked at her and said, "Hi"
She took one look at me and then she headed for the door
and swore she was givin' up drinkin' as she threw up on the floor
(chorus)

Thank God those days are gone, I'm sober and serene
but I get Godawful grateful when I share these memories
I got a good life to live, and, buddy, when I die
carve on my tombstone, "He Went Home To Heaven Dry!"
(chorus: "Now I…" 3rd line: "Healthy, hopeful, feelin' fine")

Your Ego Is Not Your Amigo

Your ego is not your amigo
Mescal is not your pal
Senor, you need step four
Por favor, no tequila no more

You drank up all your dinero
Threw up your huevos rancheros
Muy loco beneath your sombrero
Say si si, buenos dias to sobriety

Your ego is not your amigo
Holla! You don't know mierda from shinola
Sober hombres will make you their friend
Step ten will make you muy bien

It's a Mexican standoff today
El morte is headed your way
El diablo is shouting "Ole!"
Say si si! Buenos dias to sobriety

Your ego is not your amigo
Mescal is not your pal
You don't wanna' wait till manana
Vaya con dios, wise up or say adios

Sick People Getting Well

Platitudes and attitudes, a lotta' talk about gratitude
Makin' rules about spiritual tools, a word or two 'bout quittin' booze
Together we disagree, am I my problem me or is it these
dry fanatics on a mission wielding cliches and traditions
Feels like I'm recovering in hell
Sick people (3x) getting well

Dirty looks and self-help books and drunks who did whatever it took
to stay so they could lord it over newcomers getting sober
Druggers, muggers, tree-huggers, gin sippers, beer chuggers
Hippies, hicks and uptown chicks who would not ordinarily mix
Who's new and who's got time? It's hard to tell
Sick people (3x) getting well

Zealotry, senility, a road of happy destiny
Masochists and analysts, I wouldn't miss a minute o' this
A lotta' preaching, a lotta' praying, a lotta' wise and worn-out sayings
I didn't take a drink today, I guess it all works anyway
By now we should all be dead or in jail
Sick people (3x) getting well

I'm Bad & I'm Mad

I quit drinkin', I quit drugs
but I don't need no sobriety hugs
Life is givin' me a raw deal
but don'tcha' ask me how I feel
(chorus:)
I'm bad and I'm mad (2x)
They say it gets better and better
Ha! Baby, I been had

This old timer got 30 years
Said my trouble is based on fear
Said be grateful for what I got
All he did was piss me off
(chorus)

What good is a spiritual tool kit
when you're broke and celibate
They all laugh, ha, very funny
Make me want to hurt somebody
(chorus)

I'll stick around now, that's for sho'
'cause I got no place left to go
There's ups and downs, yeah, it's hit 'n' miss
but my best day drinkin' was even worse than this
(chorus)

They say it gets better and better
but they don't say when
so I'll keep comin' back
baby until then
'cause I don't wanna be an angry
newcomer ever again

I Am My Own God

Today they had a meeting about the eleventh step
talking about some deity I've never met
They say he should be in charge of my spiritual condition
but I already made a decision to put myself in that position, 'cause
(chorus:)
I am my own higher power, I am my own God (2x)

Maybe He's up there somewhere, maybe not
Maybe He's got a few things I ain't got
Maybe He knows more than me about life, but I doubt it
Oh well, what the hell, I'm not gonna' think about it
(chorus)

Oh why should I try meditation and prayer?
If He's anything like me He doesn't care
I make Him in my own image, so He's awfully distant
One moment He's faraway and the next instant he's non-existent
(chorus)

Time and time again I've tried so hard to pray
But Our Father never lets me get my way
I prefer a lotta' drama over a little bitta' wisdom
In my mind I'm better off without Him than with Him
(chorus)

Drinkin' Alone

I used to sneak out after dark
for a fifth of Lewis & Clark
Lock the door, unplug the phone
drinkin' alone

I'd rent the latest video
Pass out halfway through the show
Watchin' myself sinkin' like a stone
drinkin' alone

There was nobody there to care if I was cryin'
Nobody with me to witness the dyin'
of the light that was left in my heart
as I went all the way into the dark

They're still out there the way I was
with nowhere to turn and no one to love
All the people unseen and unknown
drinkin' alone

There's nobody there to care if they're cryin'
Nobody with 'em to witness the dyin'
of the light that's left in their hearts
as they go all the way into the dark
drinkin' alone

I'm Gonna' Live

I used to be dyin' day after day
I'd take all my chances and throw 'em away
One day I woke up and my fear disappeared
I knew all I need is right now, right here
(chorus:)
I'm gonna' live like there is no tomorrow
I'm gonna' live like my life's on the line
I'm gonna' give all I got to give
All my life I'm gonna' live

This is a moment too magic to waste
This is a moment that can't be replaced
I got no big ideas, no master plan
All I need to be is all that I am
(chorus)

Today is a gift, time is my friend
Got a dream to deliver and fences to mend
I can see forever from where I stand
Hold eternity in my hand
(chorus)

My Own Way

All my life I figured I was born for better things
Walkin' tall and talkin' proud and livin' in my dreams
Unmindful of the debt so certain to come due someday
Had to do it, do it, do it my own way

In my mind I thought I was the man I wished to be
I'd ride the road in circles that led me right back to me
I'd come and go and never know the price I had to pay
To do it, do it, do it my own way

I crashed and burned until I learned humility is no sin
Now I start out every day surrendering to win
I give it all up every morning, and every night I pray
not to do it, do it, do it my own way

By The Book

I put down the bottle, picked up the phone
The man on the line said, "You ain't alone"
"We got people just like you
"Ya want what we got, do what we do"
He said, "Son, if you're a drunk, a liar, cheat and a crook
"Try doin' it, doin' it, doin it by the book"

Well, I made some meetin's, didn't walk out
Listened up, shut my mouth
They'd all hit bottom, end of the line
They all stayed dry one day at a time
They said, "Keep comin' back" and that was all it took
I started doin' it, doin' it, doin' it by the book

I do the steps in order, one-two-three
Try to help somebody like they help me
Now I stay sober and life goes right
Say "please" in the mornin' and "thanks" at night
Another day not drinkin', you let me off the hook
Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it by the book

Closed Meeting

We're a pretty exclusive club here
We're bad-asses off the booze
Had to pass out in public to be a member
Had to vomit on my shoes
I had warrants out on me in 3 or 4 states
Checks bouncin' all over the banks
I was in detox before you were born
I spilled more than you drank
(chorus:)
It's a closed meeting, no normies allowed
Closed meeting, we're sick and proud
Gotta' fill your world with distrust
Fill your friends with pain and disgust
if you wanna be one of us

Are you really an alcoholic?
You better have a helluva' story to prove it
We don't let just anybody in here
If you still got a family, a home, a career
You may not measure up as a lowlife
like me with my three DUI's
on a first-name basis with the paramedics
Had my stomach pumped 5 times (chorus)
(chorus)

We got principles in this program
Love and tolerance is our code
but you'da' hadda' blacked out and come to drivin'
down the wrong side of the road
if you expect acceptance from these
masters of gin-soaked sin
You gotta' be as awful as all of us
before we let you in
(chorus)

You got dues to pay, lemme see your resume
Didja really live in the bars? Lemme see your scars
Have you truly defiled yourself? How much of your liver is left?
Before we give you the nod, ya gotta believe we are God

Winos, Whiners & Winners

When you first walk into these rooms
it's easy to get confused
We got quite a cast of characters here
so let me simplify it for you

There's three basic kinds of recovery
They're stayin' sober three different ways
There's winos, whiners and winners
all not drinkin' today
(chorus:)
Winos, whiners and winners
lookin' to be happy, joyous and free
There's winos, whiners and winners
and there's a little bit of each one in me

The winos smell like a brewery
They come for the coffee and company
They ain't got a buck for the basket
but at least they ain't got the d.t.'s

The whiners are innocent victims
They analyze their lives when they talk
Steer clear of martinis and Chivas
courtesy of Freud and Dr. Spock
(chorus)

The winners walk what they talk
and they don't have a whole lot to say
They're grateful for all they've got
and grateful to give it all away

Now the moral of this story
is that the moral is not up to us
and the winos, whiners and winners
gratefully remain anonymous
(chorus)

The Good Life

It's been a rocky road since I started this mystery ride
I set out alone, but now I got you by my side
I've done some grievin', yes, I've been broken and blessed
Found some room to move and a haven where I can rest
(chorus:)
I've made mistakes and I've been forgiven
I've crashed and I've coasted and I've been driven
After it all I can't believe I'm livin' the good life

This old battered soul's always ready for one more round
There's always a way to get up when I'm feelin' down
You lead me back to the light when I'm lost and gone
and all I need to do in return is to pass it on
(chorus)

Welcome back to the land of the living once again
Everybody you meet turns into a brand new old friend
Everywhere you go you know everyone very well
and when you help somebody, buddy, you help yourself
(chorus)

One Thing Right

When they said, "Keep it simple"
I thought they said, "Keep it stupid"
and I did all I did all wrong
Worked the steps without a sponsor
fast and furious, out of order
and my life was so insane for so long
(chorus:)
But I did one thing right all at once overnight
I was hale and hearty and in the pink
Did the first step perfect every time I worked it
I did one thing right: I didn't drink

They said, "No major changes
"for at least the first year"
so I got a new girlfriend and quit my job
Showed up late to the meetings
Outside issues were my topics
Sex and money were my God
(2nd chorus, 2nd line: "despite all my confusion and kinks")

I look back at my decade
with a very simple message:
It's always darkest before it goes completely black
You will do God's will, or you will do God's will
if you stay sober and keep comin' back

(3rd chorus "and you'll do one thing right…"
2nd line: "no matter what the thumpers say or think")

Hillbilly Higher Power

I can see him up in paradise sittin' on a bale o' hay
listenin' with a country grin while all us sinners pray
He's pickin' on a guitar with golden ringin' strings
while a choir of down-home old-time angels sings
(chorus:)
I got a hillbilly higher power lookin' out for me tonight
tellin' me in a bluegrass melody what is and what ain't right
There's a good ol' boy in the afterlife who's glad to be my guide
I got a hillbilly higher power by my side

He's jammin' with Hank Williams on a song that Jesus wrote
Every lick is perfect, man, they never miss a note
The words are front-porch simple, they're singin' clear and clean
and when that tune comes to me I can't help but be serene
(chorus)

When I pass through those pearly gates, God'll have a drawl
He'll say, "How you been doin'? Come on in, y'all!"
He knows that I was lost without him, lonesome, sad and sick
but with a hillbilly higher power I'm no longer up the creek
(chorus)

Promises

With this wish I give my life to live what I have learned:
the only love that's ever real is love that is returned
Still I cry, "What's in it for me?"
All I need, all for free…
(chorus:)
A promise of hope, a promise of peace
a promise of love and release
Every day my life is new
All these promises are coming true

With this hand I'm reachin' out to all the fallen ones
who finally feel too weak to fight and too far gone to run
I am you, we are one
You ain't done, you've just begun…
(chorus)

We talk of truth and walk in lies till all the talking fades
Despair and die in fear and pride till faith directs the way
Wild as the wind, warm as the sun
Open up, here it comes…
(chorus)


Song Lyrics for "People With No Last Names"

Who'da' Thought?

Who'da' thought I'd end up in this roomfulla' losers turned winners
Grizzled old veterans alongside inspired beginners
Who'da' guessed the best part of me would be you in my life
Who'da' thought I'd turn out to be dreamin' the dream in your eyes

Where did you get off believin' I was worth havin' faith in?
How did you manage to mend all the trust I was breakin' ?
What did you do to make me see through my own lies?
Who'da' thought I'd be better off livin' than prayin' to die?

Who'da' thought I'd give up what I crave and get back what I love?
Who'da' thought I'd become the true story I never was?
Who'd've imagined this prisoner'd turn out so free?
Who'da' thought we'd be walkin' on the same side of this sunny street?

Who'da' thought I'd end up in this room fulla' losers turned winners
A congregation of low-rollin' saints and high-ridin' sinners
Who could picture a more perfect world than you've made in my heart?
Who'da' thought I'd've found a home here in your open arms?

Comin' Back

Been away too long, I been gone, gone, gone
Doin' rounds uptown, I been down, down, down
Gonna raise the dead, turn the tide
I'm revved up and ready to ride

Comin' back
Like a runaway train rock 'n' rollin' down the track
Comin' back
Lights up-don't let it fade to black
Gonna hang on, gonna' keep on
Comin' back

Went astray, went wrong, I been gone, gone, gone
Hit the wall, hit the ground, I been down, down, down
Now I'm off and runnin', good to go
I'm revved up and ready to roll
Comin' back

I'm not afraid, I'm not alone
I'm revved up and headed home

Comin' back

Lifeline

I'm lookin' for the road to freedom
Searchin' with my head up high
I could be the man I was born to be
If I try
I'm achin' for that old-time feelin'
When days were new and time ran slow
Now all I see is fear and madness
Everywhere I go

(Chorus)

Throw me a lifeline
It's high time
To live up to this life o' mine
Throw me a lifeline
It's gonna' feel so fine
To live up to this life o' mine

Call to my mother for the wisdom
Call to my father for the strength
I'm wild but I am willing to go
To any lengths
Here I am, here I am standing
I will not fail, I will not fall
I tried bits and pieces, now I
Want it all

(Chorus)

Y.E.T. (You're Eligible Too)

Didn't got to jail-yet
My Marriage didn't fail-yet
No DUI-yet
Didn't die

(Chorus) Y.E.T., it's true: You're Eligible Too
Y.E.T., yeah, YOU are eligible too

Didn't go insane-yet
Didn't get a wet brain-yet
Didn't beat my bride--yet
Or try suicide

(Chorus)

Dig deeper, dig deeper
The price of the party's gettin' steeper
You're a boozer, not a loser
You can cross that line in no time

Didn't wreck my car-yet
Didn't puke on the bar-yet
I didn't go broke--yet
Didn't croak

(Chorus)

Relationship Meeting

I keep getting in over my head
No wonder I nearly drown
I keep turning it over and not letting go
No wonder I'm upside down
Yes, I stopped drinking, but that's just the start
I've got to stop bleeding from my broken heart

(Chorus)

Let's have a relationship meeting
Psycho-babble and pour it all out
Talk about stuff we're no good at
Stuff we know nothin' about

Boo-hoo, poor me, I can't stand it
I've got issues I've got to work out
I'm dying' to attain closure
And my sponsor says, "Just closure mouth"
I love my sweetheart, I love my job
Next to my money, my hormones are God

(Chorus)

Old Timer

I've gone 37 years without a slip
I only go to a meeting to get my chip
I don't drink and I don't die and that's
The only reason why
I, I, I'm and old timer

I don't make amends for anything I've done
I don't give nothin' back to anyone
I don't...

I've got all the answers, they're right here in the book
Been a decade and a half since I had a look
You can do together what I do alone
You keep comin' back-I'll stay home
I don't...

I took all I needed, I'm doin' fine
You get yours, I got mine

Mable The Enabler

She never takes the car keys when I'm too drunk to drive
When we get home she's grateful and surprised we're still alive

Mable the enabler
Mable the enabler
Gonna' make her my wife
And stay drunk for the rest of my life

She's always nice and quiet when I pass out for a nap
She cleans up all my messes and puts up with my crap

(Chorus)

She doesn't criticize me or argue or complain
She tries her best to please me while her life goes down the drain

(Chorus)

When her friends suggest that I need meetings or rehab
She rolls her eyes and sighs and mumbles, "Aw, he's not that bad"

(Chorus)

Where To Now?

Where to now? Wait, don't tell me
Let me guess, let me pray
Let me fumble through the darkness
armed with a promise of a new day
that dawns in new awareness
my mind fears to allow
Who are you? Who am I?
Here we are. Where to now?

Where to now I've been reborn
from such a poisonous abyss?
I need sustenance and shelter
And a lover's faithful kiss
I must go from A to Z
From where I was to what I'll be
I must steal what God endows
Are we there? Where to now?

Where to now this light that blinds me
is the light that shines inside me
is the light I left behind me
is the light that glares and guides me
Give it up? Turn it over?
Turn and run or take a bow?
Sit and worry, wait and wonder
Are you with me? Where to now?

Mr. Humble

I got a real nice house, I got a real nice spouse
I'm meek as a mouse, They call me Mr. Humble
I got a regular job, I believe in God
I obey the law, They call me Mr. Humble

But in my mind I'm king of the world
I've got wisdom, power, money, cars and girls
In my mind greatness is my destiny
The universe revolves around me

I'm an ordinary man, I do the best I can
I'm an average guy, I live an average life
That's the reason why they call me Mr. Humble

But in my mind I rule the galaxies
I am master of everything I see
In my mind I command eternity
The universe revolves around me

I mutter and I mumble
I stutter and I stumble
I grapple and I grumble
They call me Mr. Humble

There's A Heart Here

There's a heart here, it burns and it smiles
Thundering sometimes, mighty and wild
It's filled with warmth and wisdom, faith and trust
There's a heart here beating for us

There's a truth here that's easy to know
There's a spirit beginning to grow
It shines like sunlight on steel, it will not rust or erode
There's a truth here unyielding as stone

(Bridge)

It's anyplace, anyplace at all
no ceiling, no walls nobody takes a fall
everybody comes when anybody calls

Got a home here, got a place to breathe
such a blessing, such a relief to believe
that I am one of you, we are part of this
Got a home here too real to resist

There's a heart here, it whispers and shouts
We're all inside it, nobody's left out
There is a heart here, invincible and true
Fulla' fire and forgiveness, a heart here for me and you

People With No Last Names

Railroad Dick, Railroad Dan
3-Finger Dave and Smilin' Sam
We're all way into anonymity
Good luck getting' hold of me

(chorus:)

Just a group of drunks, we're all the same
We keep it simple and we feel no shame
You don't know us, but we're glad you came
We're the people with no last names

Here's Fully-Clothed Mary, her life was a mess
Now she's part-way sane and all-the-way dressed
unlisted in the directory
on a first-name basis with guys like me

(Chorus)

Bike Mike, Father Mike, Hot Dog Mike
at meetings every morning, noon and night
We're all so goll-darn anonymous
Good luck getting' hold of us

(Chorus)

The Drink Takes The Man

I woke up one mornin' and started a new life
Decided to quit drinkin' till the day I died
Felt such a sense of freedom for my sober fate
I went downtown and bought a round just to celebrate

(chorus:)

There is no connection between the brain and a beer-in-hand
The man takes a drink, the drink takes a drink, then
the drink takes the man
There is no great mystery to solve or understand

The man...

Molly Jane was lovely and fine as fine could be
Did a pint of gin for courage and asked her to marry me
On the big day she stood cryin' at the chapel door
I was crosstown passed out on a barroom floor

(Chorus)

Let me share my story of the wonders of Tanqueray
It fills the head with power and steals the soul away
Just don't take the first drink, believe me when I say
It ain't the caboose that kills you when ya get hit by a train

(Chorus)


Personal Bottom

Gimme' just one more last straw to break my drunken back
Fight me to a draw so I'm forced to face the facts
Reasons to quit - God, ya know I got 'em
When am I gonna hit my personal bottom?

That crisis of mine will be a special thing
Uniquely designed to feed me my last drink
Reasons...

Nothin' is so uptight that a drink won't make it right
Nothin' is so vile that I can't dull it with alcohol and denial

Gimme just one more last straw, one moment of clarity
My lover, my liver or the law put me in recovery
Reasons...

I Think I'll Quit Drinkin'

I've run out of reasons to live
Given all the excuses I could give
Lost all that I had to lose
Except for my booze and my blues

I think I'll quit drinkin' today
I don't think I should be thinkin' anyway
Maybe if I go to a meeting and pray
I won't think about drinkin' today

Trashed my marriage and five or six cars
Been kicked out of about 14 bars
Wrote a bankfulla bad checks
My body and mind are a wreck

Used to be I could get a good buzz
Make some money and fall in love
Now I just feel outa' place
Make some trouble and fall on my face

Newcomer

Couple o' nights ago you were fallin' on your face
Now you're the most important person in the place
All the old timers are on your case
You're a newcomer, what a bummer, newcomer
Your head is pounding like a sonic boom
Your life is loaded with impending doom
You were drop-kicked half-drunk into these rooms, You're...

And it's all about you, you, you
All about you, you, to thine own selfbe true
Newcomer

They say, "Keep comin' back" and smile and nod
Go on and on about powerlessness and God
All you want's a lovelife and a job, You're...

There's no power greater than you, newcomer
(You're right where you're s'posed to be.)

I Am The Booze

I am, I am the booze
I am, I am the booze
Cunning, baffling and powerful
And I love to help ya lose

I'll take your house and car,
I'll take your pretty wife
I'll take your job and children
And if ya let me I'll take your life
I am...

I'll make you mean and ugly
I'll make you beg and crawl
Everytime you try to stand up
I'll make damn sure you fall
I am...

I'll send your soul to the devil
Send your mind to the twilight zone
Leave you with a jail cell
Or a graveyard for a home
I am...

Sayings On The Wall

"Don't Think, Don't Drink", "Easy Does It", "First Things First"
All these helpful hints are supposed to kill my thirst
Since I got sober I lost what was left o' my mind
Comin' to these meetings and readin' these stupid signs

"Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worse"
They never told me sobriety was a blessing and a curse
"One day at a time" I'm prayin' not to fall
Goin' crazy readin' sayings on the wall

"We can do together what I cannot do alone"
If that's the best that you can do I shoulda stayed at home
"This too shall pass" if I "keep it simple" I can stand the pain
But these wonderful cliches are makin' mush out of my brain

I can't say those signs contain intellectual wealth
But they're startin' to make sense even to a smart guy like myself
They're diggin' deep down to where my "stinkin' thinkin'" lurks
But I still get pissed off when they say
"Keep comin' back, it works!"

Gloom, Doom, 7-Up and Jesus

Used to hit the honky-tonks, hang out in the bars
Go out on the weekend startin' fights and wreckin' cars
Now I got a brand new life, I've found a better way
Feelin' sorry for myself in AA
And now it's...

Gloom, doom, 7-Up and Jesus
Whoopee! That's my sobriety
Gloom, doom, 7-Up & Jesus
Talkin' 'bout happy, joyous and free

Some say solutions are not so hard to find
If your head is not too far up your own behind
Unless I just happen to get happier in time
I'll just sit around these rooms and whine

I got a big book collecting dust on a shelf
I find comfort in the bondage of self
I ain't got no sponsor, I don't work no steps
But at least I ain't drinkin'...YET!

Gloom, doom, 7-Up and Jesus
Whoopee! That's my sobriety
Gloom, doom, 7-Up & Jesus
Talkin' 'bout happy, joyous and free

Step 13

I'm here to quit drinkin' and get a date
I'm always at the meetings on the make
I'm happy, hot-blooded and serene
And I'm ready for step 13

Honey, you're the sponsor my dreams are made of
Take me line-by-line through the book of love
You got to be my recovery queen
I'm ready...

If there's somethin' wrong with comin' on to you
I'll just do a 10th step when I'm through
I'm a spiritual, sober sex machine
And I'm ready, yeah I'm ready for step 13

I'll keep comin' back if this works
I want what you have under your skirt
Might get me drunk, but that don't mean a thing
When you're ready...

The Seven Deadlies

I went to a meeting, happy to join
Put the plug in the jug and they gave me a coin
After awhile I was feelin' kinda' low
I said, "Hey, old timer, tell me what ya know!"
I asked the old timer, "Is somethin' wrong with me?"
He smiled and shook my hand and said, "Yes, definitely!"

"There's nothing unique about the sad shape your're in.
"Your condition is caused by the 7 deadly sins!"

They draw me the same way a flame draws a moth
Pride, anger, greed, gluttony, lust, envy and sloth
Cravin' what I want instead of what I need
Pride, anger, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy and greed

I took to the steps like a duck to a pond
I am what I am and what I mostly am is wrong!
God bless the instincts that make me live and breathe
But self-will run riot will be the death of me

I Got A Choice

I got a choice, I got a life and I got a voice
And I got a light, and I'm gonna' live and speak and shine
One day at a time - I got a choice.

Lift my head off my pillow and praise the day
Pray to stay outa' my own way
Open up my eyes, open up my heart
It's a new world turnin' and I'm gonna play my part

Lay my head on my pillow, get my rest
Look back on the day, pray I did my best
Like a stranger that came in from the wilderness
I lie awake in wonder that I've been so blessed

I got a choice, I got a life and I got a voice
And I got a light, and I'm gonna' live and speak and shine
One day at a time - I got a choice

There's A God And I Ain't It

I been sittin' round talkin' bout a higher power
Gettin' smarter and crazier by the hour
On a fast track to heaven, playin' beat the clock
Talkin' the talk instead of walkin' the walk

But I know two things about the infinite --
There is a god and I ain't it

The booze stopped workin' so I finally quit
White-knuckled, spiritually fit
Minus whiskey and beer and wine and rum
I'm dry and dull and boring and glum
But I know two things...

Ya wanna be happy, joyous and free
Get used to livin' in a mystery
I'm my own worst enemy
'Cause I'm proud of my humility

Yeah I'm still here talkin' bout a higher power
Recovering in my ivory tower
I'm the group guru, I am the Way
Every day is Judgment Day

But I...

Last House On The Block

My whole life was a nightmare and a war
Blackin' out, wakin' up face-down on the floor
My broken heart was hard as a rock
Till I stumbled 'round to the last house on the block

Hopeless and helpless, lost and alone
A desperate drifter with no way home
Down a dead-end street I crawled up the walk
And you opened the door to the last house on the block

The last house on the block has a thousand rooms
And a million tales about victory and doom
It's always lit up and never locked
We're right at home here in the last house
The last house on the block

You said, "Come on in. Admission is free."
You saved a seat especially for me
My soul on fire, my life in hock
I settled right in to the last house on the block

I got excited 'bout somethin' the other day
Wouldn't let me be, didn't wanna go away
I started to worry, then I started to pray
And pretty soon everything was pretty much OK

Two Dancers

Long ago and faraway when the world was black and white
Two dancers danced in the desert on a cold and moonless night
One dancer praised the darkness
The other summoned light
They danced until their wings were full
And then each one took flight

In opposite directions they flew into the wind
Still dancing with the currents in search of grace and sin
The dark dancer alit upon a world of golden stone
The light one came to rest inside a nest of broken bones

In each one's heart a passion burned, longing filled their lives
The dark for wealth and power and the light for heaven's eyes
The dark one ruled a kingdom filled with soldiers and slaves
The light one danced inside himself, and day and night he prayed

And he prayed, "Father, give me wisdom, grow my spirit strong & true
When my dance is over bring my soul back home to you"

One night the dark one heard these prayers in a restless dream
And commanded all his armies, "Bring this heretic to me"
The dancers reunited on an open battleground
They danced a war of destiny, of beauty broken down
They danced in faith and fury, and when the dance was done
The battleground was silent and the two dancers were one

Long ago and faraway when the world was black and white
Two dancers danced in the desert on a cold and moonless night

 

Contact Michael
149 W. Broadway #509
Missoula MT 59802
(406) 529-6862

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